Are you Inspiring or Gloomy?
By Dr. Margaret Paul
December 19, 2011
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Do you inspire others with your caring energy, or do you bring others down with your misery?
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"You find yourself refreshed by the presence of cheerful people. Why not make an honest effort to confer that pleasure on others? Half the battle is gained if you never allow yourself to say anything gloomy." --Julia Child, 1912-2004, Chef, Author and Television Personality
What is your primary intention with others – to share uplifting, caring energy, or to get sympathy?
Getting Sympathy
When you are complaining, whining, and being generally gloomy with others, what do you want? Are you trying to connect with them through getting their sympathy? Are you trying to fill some inner emptiness through getting them to feel sorry for you? Have you been programmed to believe that the only way to connect is to share misery and complaints? Do you compete for having the worst complaints – the worst illness, the worst rejections, the worst unfairness, the worst day? Do you ever think to yourself when hearing another’s complaint, “Big deal, that’s nothing. Wait until you hear what I’m going through.”
You might want to take a moment right now and take an honest look inside to see what your hope is in being gloomy rather than cheerful. What are you not giving to yourself that you want from others? Are you ignoring your own feelings, and then hoping someone else will give you the attention and caring you want? Are you avoiding taking responsibility for the choices you make that lead to you feeling badly? What is your investment in seeing yourself as a victim? Do you believe that getting momentary sympathy from another is what will make you feel okay about yourself?
Being Caring and Inspiring
Imagine what might happen in your life if you “never allowed yourself to say anything gloomy,” as Julia Child suggests.
In order to do this, you need to give yourself the caring and compassion that you keep trying to get from others with your complaining, gloomy behavior. Just acting cheerful, when you really feel awful inside, isn’t going to do much for you or for your relationships. Most people can easily pick up inauthentic behavior, so a superficial Pollyanna attitude is not going to be well received.
The real issue here is whether you are loving yourself or abandoning yourself. When you abandon yourself – by judging yourself, ignoring your feelings, turning to various addictions to avoid your feelings, and making others responsible for your feelings of worth and lovability – you will feel gloomy. While it’s easy to believe that your misery is due to something external – finances, relationships, unmet expectations – much of the time these feelings are coming from your own self-abandonment. If you are abandoning yourself and then acting cheerful, it is likely that the intent of your cheerfulness is the same as the intent of your complaining – to get something from someone else to make you feel better.
To be truly caring and inspiring to others, you need to be genuinely peaceful inside, and this comes only from taking loving care of yourself – of your emotions, your physical wellbeing, your spiritual wellbeing, your financial wellbeing, and your sense of integrity.
In order to never allow yourself to say anything gloomy to others, you first have to stop indulging yourself in saying gloomy things to yourself, which means that you need to become aware of the overt and subtle ways you scare yourself and judge yourself from your programmed ego wounded self. As long as you indulge yourself in thinking scary and judgmental thoughts, you will be creating your own misery, which you then may dump onto others with your whining and complaining.
Imagine how wonderful our relationships and our world would be if all of us took responsibility for our own feelings instead of making others responsible.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
GROW Your Capabilities Into New Possibilities!
by Christine Hassler on December 14, 2011
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If you are using the excuse “I don’t know how” to stop you from doing something, STOP IT. Not knowing how to do something is not a reason to not do it; it is an excuse. And I know you do not want excuses to get in the way of your dreams!
Perhaps you can relate to this: you have a moment of inspiration. You get an idea, consider a lifelong dream or have an “aha” moment. Your eyes light up and you begin to feel those butterflies of excitement. All of a sudden you are FULL of possibility. And then, like a record scratch, your analytical mind comes in and begins to try to figure out the how. You begin to contract energetically because that pesky “I don’t know” excuse starts to suck away all your inspiration.
Today I invite you to declare that you will no longer allow your current capabilities to dictate your possibilities! So what if you don’t know how to do something? There was a time when you did not know how to chew, control your bladder, walk, read or use a computer. You’ve learned all those things, didn’t you?
What is so awesome about your capabilities, which include both your awareness and your skill set, is that you can continue to grow them. So if you are allowing what you are capable of today to determine what you could create in the future, can you see how short-sighted that is? It’s like trying to send an email with a typewriter. It’s just not effective.
Know that you are most likely only using 10-20% of your human potential and there is so much more you are capable of. But in order to really ignite the inspiration that fuels stretching your capabilities, you have to shift into the energy of possibility.
Dream. Visualize. Fantasize. Vision.
The most amazing creators see possibility. Genius and innovation come from a place of thinking about what’s possible NEXT versus what is possible now. Thomas Edison tried over 10,000 times before he was able to make a light bulb work because he continued to focus on what could be possible rather than what he was currently capable of.
To me, genius is not necessarily being the best at something. It is about how much passion and enthusiasm we bring to what we do. Genius requires childlike curiosity and a willingness to have a beginner’s mind. And the only way to access your own genius is to stop living in the comfort zone of your current capabilities. Dwelling in the world of possibility requires stepping outside the familiarity of what you already know.
You are reading this and part of a community of people who are committed to being LOVE because Mastin thought about what was possible. What could be possible for you? What could you create?
Stop looking through the limited lens of your current capabilities. Allow your mind to swim in the beautiful and vast sea of possibility. Stop drowning your dreams by only paying attention to what you have done or can do right now. Trust the energetic power of focusing on possibility and soon you will see that the right teachers, tools and circumstances you need to be capable of co-creating it will show up.
Relax and celebrate this amazing possibility: you are more powerful and capable than you think. Whatever your “it” is, know that you CAN do it, you CAN have it and you CAN be it. IT IS ALL POSSIBLE – you just have to open your mind and heart to it.
“We all have possibilities we don’t know about. We can do things we don’t even dream we can do.” – Dale Carnegie
“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” – Jamie Paolinetti
# # #
Christine Hassler is an author, speaker, life coach and spiritual counselor dedicated to helping people answer the questions who am I, what do I want and how do I get it? You can check out her website here:http://www.christinehassler.com/
Email This Post
If you are using the excuse “I don’t know how” to stop you from doing something, STOP IT. Not knowing how to do something is not a reason to not do it; it is an excuse. And I know you do not want excuses to get in the way of your dreams!
Perhaps you can relate to this: you have a moment of inspiration. You get an idea, consider a lifelong dream or have an “aha” moment. Your eyes light up and you begin to feel those butterflies of excitement. All of a sudden you are FULL of possibility. And then, like a record scratch, your analytical mind comes in and begins to try to figure out the how. You begin to contract energetically because that pesky “I don’t know” excuse starts to suck away all your inspiration.
Today I invite you to declare that you will no longer allow your current capabilities to dictate your possibilities! So what if you don’t know how to do something? There was a time when you did not know how to chew, control your bladder, walk, read or use a computer. You’ve learned all those things, didn’t you?
What is so awesome about your capabilities, which include both your awareness and your skill set, is that you can continue to grow them. So if you are allowing what you are capable of today to determine what you could create in the future, can you see how short-sighted that is? It’s like trying to send an email with a typewriter. It’s just not effective.
Know that you are most likely only using 10-20% of your human potential and there is so much more you are capable of. But in order to really ignite the inspiration that fuels stretching your capabilities, you have to shift into the energy of possibility.
Dream. Visualize. Fantasize. Vision.
The most amazing creators see possibility. Genius and innovation come from a place of thinking about what’s possible NEXT versus what is possible now. Thomas Edison tried over 10,000 times before he was able to make a light bulb work because he continued to focus on what could be possible rather than what he was currently capable of.
To me, genius is not necessarily being the best at something. It is about how much passion and enthusiasm we bring to what we do. Genius requires childlike curiosity and a willingness to have a beginner’s mind. And the only way to access your own genius is to stop living in the comfort zone of your current capabilities. Dwelling in the world of possibility requires stepping outside the familiarity of what you already know.
You are reading this and part of a community of people who are committed to being LOVE because Mastin thought about what was possible. What could be possible for you? What could you create?
Stop looking through the limited lens of your current capabilities. Allow your mind to swim in the beautiful and vast sea of possibility. Stop drowning your dreams by only paying attention to what you have done or can do right now. Trust the energetic power of focusing on possibility and soon you will see that the right teachers, tools and circumstances you need to be capable of co-creating it will show up.
Relax and celebrate this amazing possibility: you are more powerful and capable than you think. Whatever your “it” is, know that you CAN do it, you CAN have it and you CAN be it. IT IS ALL POSSIBLE – you just have to open your mind and heart to it.
“We all have possibilities we don’t know about. We can do things we don’t even dream we can do.” – Dale Carnegie
“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” – Jamie Paolinetti
# # #
Christine Hassler is an author, speaker, life coach and spiritual counselor dedicated to helping people answer the questions who am I, what do I want and how do I get it? You can check out her website here:http://www.christinehassler.com/
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