The story of my Reactivity

The Story of My Reactivity

I feel most dissatisfied and reactive in my life right now because of the following circumstances:
I do not feel fulfilled in any of the areas important in my life. I feel stuck in my job, between work and children there is no time left for a social life, I feel I have only 1 friend who I hardly see because of lack of time. I am just going through the motions day by day. The only happiness in my life are my three daughters (6 year old and 1 year and 3 month old twins). But I do feel that because I do not feel in balance and fulfilled I cannot be the best mom. I have serious doubts about marriage, I am disappointed and I do not feel connection.



The biggest symptom of my reactivity is…
Even though I know I have some structural issues in my life and my priorities are all wrong I do not know how break the cycle of negativity. I just go through the motions and focus on the daily priorities at work.



This symptom leaves me feeling…
Miserable because I know I am not making the right choices but I do not know how to make a change



I find myself powerless over my thoughts because…
The worries about the issues I am not addressing keep coming up and I do not think they will go away if issues are not addressed. There are just too many things, it’s overwhelming.


When I’m triggered by my reactivity I find myself indulging in the following behaviors:
Unhealthy eating habits and excessive television watching to numb myself




The critical voice, or the Con Artist, says that my reactivity and dissatisfaction are real because…
These are all real problems and I have little power or control to change these



What is true about your reactivity?
That I have some real issues going on in my life


What is false about your reactivity?
The fact that I have no control over them. I should be able to address them step by step but I do not know where to start.


What is your reactivity keeping your from experiencing most at this time?
Happiness and inner peace


The reactivity that I would most like to transform in this class is:
My passivity in not confronting problems




TAPPING THE CREATIVE POWER OF
YOUR WHOLE IQ

Please write the first thing that comes to mind for each answer in the order they are written.

1-What is the energy you most desire to live in?

An atmosphere of peace, tranquility and warmth

2-What moves you to make a commitment and take action?

My pride, I think I am trying very hard to portray this perfect image of myself to the outside world and it is killing me inside



3-What experiences deepen the meaning of your life?

Feeling the love of my children, a good conversation with a dear friend, enjoying the sea breeze and the sun on my skin


4-What experiences liberate your connection to your passion or authentic self?

The rare occasions when I am able to spend time with a group of friends. Pilates classes when I manage to relax and feel my body getting stronger and balanced.

5-What truth brings you the greatest clarity at this time?

I need to make a change..

6-What are you gifted at creating?

Very complex spreadsheets…

7-What visible forms (forms= results, possessions, body, places, structures, and relationships) do you recognize as valuable?

Relationships with friends, in the past the sense of solidarity and being a team with my husband, being respected as a professional, having a welcoming house where people like to spend time

8-What impact do you want to make in your life/world?

I want people to remember me as someone who made them feel better about themselves.

9-Looking over your answers, circle the areas most affected by your reactivity.

Area most affected are relationships and taking care of myself.

And here's Michele's reaction:

Yes, yes, nourishing Inner Peace is the seed of your energy desire! Also, I see that you are opening yourself up to faith. Faith can not occur in a state of perfectionism or feeling that you need to take on or confront your circumstances. We can not receive support from the Universal Intelligence, as I call it, or God when we are in
reactivity.

As you soften into Inner Peace, you will observe your challenges with more inner and outer resources and notice things you don't see when you are braced.

You will also see more clearly what you want to accept and what may no longer serve you froma place of revelation or fixing something.

I'm SO glad that you are in the class. I can feel your beautiful energy even when you were attempting to unwind. Your Spirit is grace. Savor this week of exploring your gorgeous energy. Imagine being pregnant with your true self!

I am so surprised in apositive way by the very personalized approach of these classes and Michele's one to one support. I feel like I am heading somewhere with this and I am excited about the journey!!!